Extra Extra
Thursday 10th October
Fair, balanced and Bug-Free
Extra Wartime Edition
DICTATORIAL DRAGON KNIGHTS ABOUND!
When asked by councillor Prospera to hold a referendum with the purpose of discovering whether the populace would favour a democratic republic over an absolute monarchy, 61% of all Dragon Knights said 'no' outright. Of those who agreed, 57% did allow elections after the referendum showed this is what the majority of the people wanted, but when push came to shove and Sir Falstaff Silvervein won said elections, a whopping 88% of Dragon Knights refused to acknowledge this victory and held on to power. Once more it has been proven that under a Dragon Knight's rule, freedom is but a farce!
FORTUNES WASTED ON THE FEEBLE AND THE FRAIL
Survival of the fittest? More like survival of the sickest! 75% of Dragon Knights says 'yes' to government healthcare and is ready to pay through the nose for every cough, scrape and carbuncle in the kingdom. Several dwarves fainted upon hearing the news of the squandering of endless amounts of hard-mined gold on parasitical patients, but because of the very law they so objected to, they were sent home from the hospice with a very lenient doctor's bill indeed.
EMPERORS BLOW SMOKE! HALF OF RIVELLON'S RULERS WANT CHILDREN TO SUCKLE SMOKE-STICKS!
WATERBOARDING FOR THE WIN! 50% OF DRAGON KNIGHTS ALLOW TORTURE
70% OF DRAGON KNIGHTS READY TO RIP REPORTERS' TONGUES OUT. PRESS CENSURE ORDER OF THE DAY
PUBLIC BREASTFEEDING SMILED UPON BY MAJORITY OF EMPERORS! 43% NIPS NIPPLES IN THE BUD
STRIKES? WAGE WARS? NO THANK YOU! 63% OF DRAGON KNIGHTS OPPOSE UNIONS
SCOOP
CARELESS BUREAUCRAT LEAKS SENSITIVE IMPERIAL INFORMATION
Read all about it in our scandal section!
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